well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
