We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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