I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
