I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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