That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
