Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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