I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
