Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
