why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
