im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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