he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
