bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
