Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
