I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm too high and old for this...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
