every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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