so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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