It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
