The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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