how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
