you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
