Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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