Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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