we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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