so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
