So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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