Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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