haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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