im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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