I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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