someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
