think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
