even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
