Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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