420 ftw
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
