i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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