I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
