i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
