my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
