Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
