Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
