Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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