I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
