Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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