I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
