Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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