your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
our cab driver is having phone sex.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
