holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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