Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
