we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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