i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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