Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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